Many people think of pregnancy as a women’s issue, but men have a big role in the process as well. When your girlfriend tells you she’s pregnant, you might be scared, angry, or confused. However, one thing is always true - you need to know where to turn for help.
At Eve’s Hope, we provide support and help for men as well as women. If you’re facing an unplanned or unexpected pregnancy and you aren’t sure what to do next, we can help. We’ll help you understand how to support your girlfriend, what you should and shouldn’t do, and how to get help now. Call us at 786-732-7911.
What to Do if She Tells You She’s Pregnant
Unexpected pregnancies can happen anytime. However, before you can make any decisions about how to proceed, you need to make sure you have all the information you can.
The first thing you should do is to make sure the pregnancy is real. A good way to do this is to schedule a free pregnancy confirmation test and ultrasound. This combination is the best way to confirm and date a viable pregnancy. At Eve’s Hope, we offer free pregnancy testing and free ultrasounds to confirm and date a pregnancy. This will tell you for sure whether she’s pregnant and how far along she is.
Next, make sure you’re there for her. You are in this together, and it’s your job to be supportive and to help when she needs it. Of course every relationship is different, and you’ll need to work out what your role is on your own. But you need to be present, available, and supportive.
Finally, don’t pressure her to make a choice or to agree with you. The best thing you can do is to help her arrive at her own decisions and to be clear about your opinion, but not to impose that opinion on her.
Here are a few important questions you need to think about when your girlfriend becomes pregnant:
- What is she expecting of you? You need to have a conversation with her to find out what she wants your role to be. Some women appreciate support and guidance, while others need some space to process this news. Talk about what she wants, and make sure to bring up what you feel your role should be as well. Most women would prefer you are honest about how you feel rather than saying “I’ll support whatever you decide.” This statement can cause her to feel like she’s carrying the burden of the decision alone.
- What are her plans for the pregnancy? Does she want to have and parent the baby? Is she considering abortion?Does she want to place the baby in a forever family through adoption? These are questions you’ll need to ask her. You should also figure out your own feelings on the matter. The best way to make an informed decision is by having accurate information on each of your options.
- What kind of father do you want to be? If she chooses to keep the baby, you’ll need to think about your role in your child’s life. Research has shown that children who grow up with absent fathers are more likely to dropout of school, be poor, use drugs, and go to jail.
- Why should you avoid making a rash decision? If you make a decision quickly, without taking time to consider your options and feelings, you will almost certainly regret it later on. If she just now suspects she’s pregnant or is early in her pregnancy, there is plenty of time to make a decision. Take the time to confirm the pregnancy with an ultrasound before making a decision.
Face the Situation Together
The one thing that’s most important to remember in this situation is that you’re on the same team, and your decisions affect both of you. When one of you gets frustrated, angry, or scared - and the chances are that will happen - just remember that you’re stronger together.
Eve’s Hope can offer support, counsel, and free services to make your journey and decisions easier. Call us today at 786-732-7911 to schedule an appointment to come in on your own or together and talk about your options and next steps.